You are the person with the credentials.
You are the one with the experience.
Fixing things and helping people is your passion.
You are good at a lot of things. Maybe you are even an expert in a field or two. You have credibility and people come to you to solve problems. Helping others gives you life. And you are well equipped to fix things and give help. Since you are the expert, your job is to give others good “information” that will, regardless of your customer or client’s emotional state, fix or ameliorate their problems. That’s your job. More than that, it’s why you chose this vocation. And, there are lots of people out there that need your help. And, you are good at it.
But, you are not the expert.
- Your clients are the only experts at living with their problem or incapacity.
When someone comes to you they have a need that they want to be filled. It’s their need, not yours. Their problems are not yours. The people you serve must live with their own circumstances and figure out how to make life work for them. As good as you are, as smart as you are, with all the experience you have, you will not go home with anyone you serve, you will not live their lives, you will not walk lockstep with them through their trials, tears, and joy. Your clients are the only experts at living with their issues, needs or incapacities. They are the experts at living their own lives and the sooner you understand that the more likely you are going to have a positive and long-lasting influence on the decisions they must make.
So, what is your role, because you do have the information they need? You can help them and, you want to. But know
- You don’t motivate, you influence.
First, act like you are not the smartest person in the room. Change your paradigm of communication and relationship by acting like your clients are the change makers, not you. Know that foundationally they won’t change, improve, or take your advice if they don’t want to. They get to choose. Get it in your head that you don’t motivate your clients or anyone for that matter. Your clients are either motivated or they are not. Contrary to the popular sports movies you’ve seen, you don’t create motivation. Instead, you serve the motivation they already have; you don’t create it by yelling and screaming at them exhausted in the rain to try harder for the 100th time. Everyone with whom you come into contact is motivated, or not. It’s the motivated ones who will tolerate the yelling and screaming and working out in pain in the rain because they want what you can help them achieve for themselves and their team.
Michael Smith is co-founder of DecisionGrid.